Eat some wittle twees wit me
In a magical land, in a magical town
Santa and his magic elves were hanging around
Building magical toys for girls and boys
To deliver to the world to bring Christmas joy
The reindeer were snug in their snow covered stable
While Santa puts Turkey on the dinner table
But a mile away, hubbled in the snow
Gary sits scared as the Arctic Winds blow
Alone on his own, forgotten and lost
Surviving on roots and the permafrost
Dreams of joining Santa's team filled Gary's head
And he'd walk by the stable when they all had gone to bed
He'd tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh
Cutting Gary's self-esteem painfully in half
He was Rudolf's half-brother, unplanned, unwanted
By his father's indiscretions he would be forever haunted
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer was of unexpected birth
But one day he saved Christmas and he proved to them his worth
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and make him cry
They never let poor Gary fly with them up in the sky
In a big dark castle on the other side of town
Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown
With a bat on his shoulder decked in a black cape
He devised a new plan to make America shake
He said, "I'll destroy Christmas, here's what I'll do:
I'll kidnap poor Rudolf as 9/11 Part 2
The West will quake when their holiday is gone
Then I'll rule the world like my name is Exxon!"
He snuck into the stable so he could steal
Rudolf and he left in his Jihad Mobile
Santa found out the news and he said, "Oh Dear!
Rudolf's gone? There will be no Christmas this year!"
The elves began to cry and the sky turned Gray
Then Gary heard the sobs, walking by that day
He shared Rudolf's D.N.A. and had something to say
He said, "I can guide your sleigh and make everything okay."
Santa said, "Who are you?"
Gary said, "I'm Rudolf's half-brother.
You can tell because my nose is Green instead of Red."
Santa said, "Whatever, just put on this harness."
So then one happy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
"Gary with your nose so Green, won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
Then all the reindeer loved him and they shouted out, "Hooray!"
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer, Thanks for saving Christmas Day
And the toys were delivered across the world
Bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl
Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go
And the brothers reunited in the north pole snow
Rudolph said, "Hey Gary, I'm sorry we laughed
And left you forgotten, like President Taft
We know it made you cry, we're sorry we were mean
We'd like you to join our reindeer team"
And that is how Christmas got its colors
From the Red and Green noses of the reindeer brothers
You may see them flying high on Christmas eve
Bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve
And Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise
PlayStation 2's and Green Day CD's
But nada for Osama as they say in espaסol
No Game Cubes in his stocking
Now Santa brings him coal
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer was of unexpected birth
But one day he saved Christmas and he proved to them his worth
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and make him cry
They never let poor Gary fly with them up in the sky
So then one happy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
"Gary with your nose so Green, won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
Then all the reindeer loved him then they shouted out, "Hooray!"
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer, Thanks for saving Christmas Day
from A Santa Cause: It`s a Punk-Rock Christmas
Santa and his magic elves were hanging around
Building magical toys for girls and boys
To deliver to the world to bring Christmas joy
The reindeer were snug in their snow covered stable
While Santa puts Turkey on the dinner table
But a mile away, hubbled in the snow
Gary sits scared as the Arctic Winds blow
Alone on his own, forgotten and lost
Surviving on roots and the permafrost
Dreams of joining Santa's team filled Gary's head
And he'd walk by the stable when they all had gone to bed
He'd tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh
Cutting Gary's self-esteem painfully in half
He was Rudolf's half-brother, unplanned, unwanted
By his father's indiscretions he would be forever haunted
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer was of unexpected birth
But one day he saved Christmas and he proved to them his worth
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and make him cry
They never let poor Gary fly with them up in the sky
In a big dark castle on the other side of town
Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown
With a bat on his shoulder decked in a black cape
He devised a new plan to make America shake
He said, "I'll destroy Christmas, here's what I'll do:
I'll kidnap poor Rudolf as 9/11 Part 2
The West will quake when their holiday is gone
Then I'll rule the world like my name is Exxon!"
He snuck into the stable so he could steal
Rudolf and he left in his Jihad Mobile
Santa found out the news and he said, "Oh Dear!
Rudolf's gone? There will be no Christmas this year!"
The elves began to cry and the sky turned Gray
Then Gary heard the sobs, walking by that day
He shared Rudolf's D.N.A. and had something to say
He said, "I can guide your sleigh and make everything okay."
Santa said, "Who are you?"
Gary said, "I'm Rudolf's half-brother.
You can tell because my nose is Green instead of Red."
Santa said, "Whatever, just put on this harness."
So then one happy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
"Gary with your nose so Green, won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
Then all the reindeer loved him and they shouted out, "Hooray!"
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer, Thanks for saving Christmas Day
And the toys were delivered across the world
Bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl
Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go
And the brothers reunited in the north pole snow
Rudolph said, "Hey Gary, I'm sorry we laughed
And left you forgotten, like President Taft
We know it made you cry, we're sorry we were mean
We'd like you to join our reindeer team"
And that is how Christmas got its colors
From the Red and Green noses of the reindeer brothers
You may see them flying high on Christmas eve
Bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve
And Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise
PlayStation 2's and Green Day CD's
But nada for Osama as they say in espaסol
No Game Cubes in his stocking
Now Santa brings him coal
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer was of unexpected birth
But one day he saved Christmas and he proved to them his worth
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and make him cry
They never let poor Gary fly with them up in the sky
So then one happy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
"Gary with your nose so Green, won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
Then all the reindeer loved him then they shouted out, "Hooray!"
Gary the Green Nosed Reindeer, Thanks for saving Christmas Day
from A Santa Cause: It`s a Punk-Rock Christmas